Everything Happens for a Reason

New Year's resolutions are goals you either write a detailed list of what you want to accomplish within the year or you scoff at those who use the new year as an excuse to change themselves.

Whichever end of the spectrum you reside on, I think it is safe to say that there is that bit of "New year, new me" mentality within all of us. I mean, who doesn't want to start off the year on the right foot?

Personally, I am a New Year's resolutions gal. I used to be the kind that set specific goals, things like do this once a week, but would rarely (really never) stick to them, and once I (in my eyes) failed on maintaining these goals, I would think, "Well, looks like it's another year down the shitter. Maybe next year."

What can I say? I am a perfectionist. When I start something new, I want to be good at it right away (unrealistic, I know), and I want to finish it in a way that I think is successful.

Well, let's just say that my 2018 had an interesting start. A start that flipped into a life lesson later on in the year.

Flashback to January. For months, I had planned on traveling to France for a week alongside 19 other students in a Study Abroad program part of my college. As someone who identifies as an introvert, the situation itself was astonishing. Me? Travel to a country essentially by myself? Stay away from home for over a week? That was groundbreaking stuff.

But alas, I had grown a lot within the past few years. I had this newfound confidence and independence that I wanted to test out, and I guess testing out meant jumping head first into unknown waters. I wanted to travel across the world, God dammit. Why not earn credits along the way? Maybe this would be the journey that would change my life, too.

Well, long story short, traveling in January can be a bit of a risk when it comes to planes and snow storms, and with my unwitting luck, a snowstorm hit the day our plane was going to take off. Our flight was cancelled the first time around because of the snow, and when we tried to fly out a few days later when the storm stopped, we ended up missing our connecting flight to France by 15 minutes. As the flight flew away into the sunrise, our entire week-long trip to France flew away, too. Trip cancelled.

Could it get any worse? Oh, yes. It could.

We had to sleep on the floor of Atlanta International Airport for the night next to a construction zone that was going on in the terminal across from us; you could say that "sleep" really meant closing my eyes without ever falling asleep. I had certainly had better nights.

However, despite the fiasco that was the start of my “This year is going to be great” mentality, I was strangely positive about the entire situation. Sure, a few tears were shed here and there, but I somehow knew that we were not meant to travel to France at that time. I tried to look at it as a little vacation away from my part-time job which was very much needed. The airline was even polite enough to give us free snacks throughout the entire night, and hey, who doesn't love free junk food?

But a cancelled trip was still a cancelled trip. It certainly sucked having to explain the story 50 times over which may have been part of the reason why I ended up writing an article about it for my college newspaper. I could just yell, "HERE," and hand the article over to anyone who wanted to hear about it. Let me sulk in peace, people.

To my surprise, the article was praised. People seemed to like the fact that I took a positive approach to such a negative situation. Heck, I was even cracking jokes left and right throughout the piece. Was it to cover up the fact that I was super upset about the trip? Maybe. But, like I said, I was trying to be positive, and if people seemed to feel inspired by that, then that made the cancellation a bit better.

Now, flash back forward to present day and here I am, writing to you folks after coming home from a trip in Ireland that was the happiest week of my life.

How was I able to pay for another trip across the water? Well, that measly article ended up falling into the right hands, and a professor who led a Study Abroad Program to Ireland in the summer thought, "Hey, why not see if those who earned a scholarship for the France trip could have said scholarship transferred to the Ireland one?"

Fortunately, the givers of the scholarship agreed, and next thing you know, my bags were packed for Ireland.

When I say it was the best experience of my life, I ain't kidding.

First of all, Ireland itself is stunning. From the cobbled streets lined with colorful pubs and flowered baskets in Dublin to the green mountain ranges and steep cliffs overlooking crystal waters in Ballycastle, the sights were the most beautiful things I had ever witnessed.

Nothing will compare to seeing Guinness Lake and trying to soak everything in so that I could remember it for the rest of my life. The wildflowers, the ocean, the different cultures, the groups of musicians on each corner — everything about it exceeded my expectations. There is so much to see outside of where you live.

Secondly, the people I traveled with became somewhat of a family to me. The scenario was the same as the France trip. Fifteen strangers. One week. You would not expect people to bond so much within a short span of time — but we did.

They became a group of people I did not want to part from, a group that I could have easily spent another week (or lifetime) with in Ireland. We all shared this life-altering journey in which we grew as individuals but also as a group. I don't care if it sounds cheesy! It is true! I am a different person because of this trip and because of these people.

And here is where that life lesson comes in.

1. Everything Happens for a Reason

Through all of the shit, I would not have changed what happened back in January. I mean, yeah, it sucked eggs for a long, long time. There was nothing "fun" about getting my hopes up and destroyed not once but twice, and I definitely would have preferred eating duck in the Eiffel Tower over eating Rice Crispy Treats on the airport floor.

However, if that did not happen, I would not have experienced Ireland; I would not have met the people I did; I would not be who I am today. That might sound a tad dramatic, but if you think about it, a lot has happened since January. I was able to endure the upset of not going on this trip that I was looking forward to for months, and I have realized that I am stronger than I think. All of that happened so I could learn that about myself, and now I believe I came out as a different person.

We have to endure whatever life throws at us, but it will all work out in the end. Remember when you thought you would never find love again after that breakup? It just meant that that person wasn't "the one," and that you will someday stumble upon someone better. Remember when you didn't get into the college of your dreams? Now look at you. You are thriving somewhere else with a tight-knit group of friends you wouldn't have met elsewhere.

Life is a series of highs and lows. The lows can be tough, and they can make you question whether it is all worth it.

But it is moments like these that make life worth living. You have to be able to trudge through the mud to make it to the other side where the wildflowers grow. Plus, just think of how strong your legs are becoming when you have to go through that thicc gunk. You are becoming a better person with every hardship you survive, even if that change is minor.

2. Positivity is Key

I think what really made this whole France -> Ireland experience such a lesson was when I realized how much a positive outlook can improve your situation. We all go through stuff, stuff that we cannot always control or change. It's inevitable.

Still, what you can do is just try to look at things from a different perspective. Just throw yourself up onto a table like Robin Williams in The Dead Poet's Society and view the world from another angle. It may be hard to find it, but there is a hidden lesson in every situation we go through that can either be a lesson we take to heart or throw away with negative thinking.

To think, if I had not written that article, if I let the cancellation sink into my heart, I would not be here writing to you about this. It all stemmed from that outlook. There was nothing I could do about the snow. All I could do was try, and it worked out in the end.

There is beauty out there. It can be hidden sometimes, but it is there. It's between the cracks of a town you thought you knew well, and it's in the distance in a country you have only dreamed of. All I am saying is life is unpredictable, but it's the unpredictability that can transform what sort of life you live. There are times of fear, hopelessness, anger. Times where it doesn't make sense why you should keep living.

But I am here to tell you there are moments like this. This trip, these lessons, these friends, these are the things that I would not trade for the world.

Perhaps, someday, I will remember France the way I remember Ireland now, and I want to be able to stay alive for that moment. I hope you all find your life-changing experience, too.

Your friend,
Jane