5 Lessons I've Learned From My Plants About Life

I have 29 kids and counting.

Plants, that is.

They sit on my window ledge and guard my backyard; they stretch from the ceiling to the floor, bending toward the light; they lean on each other for support. And together, they form a jungle escape within the four walls of my small bedroom.

Plant motherhood wasn’t always in my life plan, though. For awhile, I swore off real plants because of the sheer number I unintentionally killed, and I instead found solace in fake plants. Fake plants were easy. Fake plants I could handle. They added touches of life to my space without having to set a reminder on my phone to water them every so often.

Still, my heart longed for real plants.

In the beginning of 2021, I listened to my calling and set a new goal — try my hand at plant-care again.

I started small with about three easy plants, one of which was an air plant. Air plants only required light misting or a solid 20 to 30-minute soak in rain water or boiled water. Simple enough.

As word spread of my New Year’s resolution, my friends began to send me plants, and soon three plants grew into seven, then 12, then 19…

Today I have almost 30 plants! (In my defense, most of them were given to me by friends. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want gifted plants. My arms are wide open for more, forever and always.)

As you can imagine, my 10-foot by 10-foot bedroom looks a lot like the set of Nickelodeon’s “Legends of the Hidden Temple.” There are plants hanging from the ceiling and walls, sitting in groups on tables and shelves, and even soaking up the sun on an extension I built for my windowsill…specifically for my plants.

It hasn’t been entirely easy. There have been casualties here and there (R.I.P. Jeremiah, Rose and Belle).

But for the most part, it’s been a thrill to be continuously surrounded by a lush green sea, each thriving in their own way. Nothing, and I mean nothing, compares to the sheer joy I feel when walking through a greenhouse. It’s not great for my wallet, but it is great for my mental health, and that’s what life is about, right?

That being said, though I have learned a lot about plant-care from, well, the plants themselves, I have also learned equally as much about life and its meaningless meaning.

Here are five life lessons I’ve learned from my growing plant family.

1. When a plant isn’t thriving, change its environment

Let’s say you buy a new plant. You repot it in a brand new planter, place it in a perfectly sunlit spot, soak its soil and watch as it adds life to your space.

After awhile, you notice brown spots on your plant’s leaves. Oh no! The plant must be on its death bed. I guess it’s time to throw it outside and let it decompose, right?

*Buzzer noise* Wrong!

Rather than throw out the plant, take a closer look at its environment. Perhaps the plant needs fresh soil, more time between watering (not every plant should be on the same watering schedule), more sunlight. With a new environment and care specific to the plant species, it begins to thrive.

The same goes for people.

When you begin to feel down or different, take notice of your environment first. How are you taking care of your body’s health? How are you speaking to yourself? Who are you surrounded by? Each are a helpful indication of your life quality.

2. Celebrate the small victories

A few of my plants came from He Who Shall Not Be Named, a.k.a. big box stores like Home Depot and Lowe’s. They weren’t looking too good, with their wilted leaves and limited sunlight, and because I often develop an emotional attachment to inanimate objects, I took said dying plants under my wing with the goal of nursing them back to health.

With time and care, hope grew from the once dying plants — brown, crispy leaves fell as new leaves sprouted to relish in the sunlight; roots twisted and turned underneath the nutrient-rich soil; squishy stems hardened and turned a deep shade of green. Did you ever imagine such a plant would now be thriving?

Progress is gradual. One day, a plant looks small with only a few leaves, and then a few months later, its leaves are growing in every direction and it’s sprouting babies. How exciting!

In life, change often happens over time, not in a matter of days. It’s not like you go to therapy for an hour, and then poof, years of deeply-rooted childhood trauma are magically healed in a snap. (We would all save a lot of money if that were true.)

Instead, it takes trial and error, learning and unlearning, wading through the muck to come out clean. And you know what, for every small step you take, celebrate that shit!

Life is hard. It tests you in a multitude of ways that may sometimes leave you on your hands and knees, shouting to the sky, “What the fuck is this all for? Is there such thing as a meaning to life?” If the best thing you did today was simply get through the day, then you are a rockstar. Cheer yourself on, just like you cheer on your plant’s baby leaves!

3. Everyone’s needs and wants are unique

If you water a cactus the way you water a tropical plant, it’s going to drown. If you place a high-light plant in an area for low-light plants, it’s going to wither away. That’s because each plant has its own needs, and generalizing the way you take care of plants is going to straight-up murder most of them.

Not all plants are the same, just as not all people are.

There are people who are married and have children by age 30, and others who’ve been happily single for most of their life. There are people who find stability and peace of mind with a 9-to-5, and others who work for themselves on no set schedule. There are city goers and nature lovers, adventure seekers and home bodies, artists and STEM experts.

Each person’s life path is different, because what makes each person happy is different. There may also be times when life doesn’t go according to plan, and we have to make adjustments — that’s okay! Whichever path you take doesn’t make you better or worse than anyone. Do what nourishes your body, mind and soul, and watch yourself grow toward the light.

4. Slow down and soak it in

From the surface, plants look like they don’t do much but sit in the sun. But upon closer inspection, you find that their inner workings are slowly, but surely, producing new leaves, new stems, new roots, new life.

In fact, my favorite pastime is staring at my plants like I’m looking deep into my lover’s eyes. It may sound funny, even a bit strange, but there is a lot to learn when examining at your plants closely. You may discover new signs of growth you didn’t notice before!

So often, life feels like a race against other people and time. You must graduate in x amount of years, you should be successful in your career when you’re x years old, you should be married and about to have kids by age x, you need to take advantage of your youth before it’s too late.

Once you’ve reached that goal (if you do), you may then find yourself asking “What’s next?” You can’t fully appreciate what’s currently happening because you’re focused on what’s to come.

Do what plants do — slow down and soak it in.

The present moment is fleeting, and though that may bring waves of anxiety, it can also serve as a reminder to relish in what’s happening now, who you are now.

Next time you feel stuck or anxious, caught up in future happenings, take notice of what’s around you — the coolness of the air, the vibrant colors of this season’s flowers, the way soft bedsheets feel on your skin, the taste of fresh fruit. These details are what life is truly about. Appreciate them, and take your time doing so.

5. Life is seasonal

Most, if not all, beings of nature have seasons in which they thrive and seasons dedicated to rest and recovery. I mean, have you ever eaten a piece of fruit when it’s not in season versus when it is? What a difference!

For plants, they “sleep” during the colder months. They also require different care in the summer when there is lots of light compared to in the winter when light is minimal. More so, perennial plants, like tulips, are in full bloom for a few weeks before their petals fall, and they go dormant until the next early spring.

Like nature, life is also seasonal. There are times (whether it lasts a day, month or year) when life deals you a lot of bad cards and the everyday is a bit tougher to get through. Then there are times when happiness, peace and love are in full bloom. One season cannot exist without the other.

While plants move from season to season, learn to listen to what your body, mind and soul need. It’s unrealistic to expect 1,000% productivity from yourself every day of the year, when even Mother Nature herself has periods of calmness. We are an integral part of that natural system — we need to rest in order to bloom too.

As I continue to take care of my plants, I’ve discovered they are evergreen teachers. We tend to them, and they tend to us by showing how to take care of ourselves, our neighbors, our world. They are resilient in even the most treacherous environments, and together they form a powerful and peaceful community, inspiring their caretakers along the way.

Plus they’re pretty to look at.

Your friend,
Jane

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