It’s Not Just Face Masks: 6 ‘Ugly’ Self-Care Activities

I’m a big fan of self-care. Face masks, retail splurges, eating a dozen pints of ice cream until my stomach starts to sound like a freight train — you name it.

But in the age of Instagram influencers, self-care has become a sort of “Treat yo’self” mentality, in which self-care is only ever “pretty” or what you spend money on.

This, of course, just isn’t the case.

More often than not, self-care is basically what I look like on a daily basis, a.k.a. ugly af (ba-dum tsst). This means that self-care isn’t necessarily what looks “pretty,” but rather what you do to be at peace with yourself and not feel like you’re going insane by the end of the day. 🙂🙂🙂

This also means you don’t need to spend a ton of money — or even one cent — on self-care, because again, self-care is what you do to let out those emotions and make it through the day.

So! If you’re broke af and/or wondering “Why is this ‘pretty’ face mask just cleaning my pores and not cleaning my soul?” here are six “ugly” self-care activities that totally do their job.

Get Out of Bed

Let’s face it, there are days where everything, even the smallest of tasks, seems impossible. A day full of classes, assignments and socialization, where you’re forced to put on a smile and pretend that you totally don’t feel like crawling in a hole can feel like climbing Mount Everest. There’s just no way in heck you can do all of that.

That’s why small accomplishments, like getting out of bed, is self-care!

While you might be like “Getting out of bed is such a basic human task that I cannot even complete. I am a sham of a human being,” everyone’s capabilities are different, because we all have different lives, minds, needs and wants, which means getting out of bed is very much a form of self-care.

When it comes to self-care, there’s really no discrimination. The biggest and smallest tasks are self-care, which means even if you’re just getting out of bed to stretch for a few seconds, you are doing self-care! Be proud of yourself for the little things that you do to make yourself feel better.

Cry It Out

There’s nothing quite like sitting down with a hot cup of joe, cozying up in a fuzzy blanket and letting the tears flow out of you like there’s no tomorrow, is there? There’s just something ✨ magical ✨ about switching on that “ugly crying” face and having a good ‘ole cry fest.

That’s why crying the best form of self-care!

When I start to feel overwhelmed, anxious or just “off,” chances are I need to cry it out and let that pent up energy flow out of me like a raging river. Am I an ugly crier? Oh yeah. Blotchy face, red eyes, snotty nose — sounds like the best kind of crying to me!

But hey! There’s really no shame in allowing yourself to cry, because life can be crazy as sh*t and crying is just a natural response to what we experience. And chances are you’ll feel much, much better after crying it out, so the ugliness is aaaall worth it.

Plus, there are a ton of secluded places for you to let yourself cry with zero judgment (but honestly, there’s nothing shocking about seeing a stressed college student cry in public). In the car? In your dorm with music playing? In the shower a.k.a. the “Crying Chamber”? All 12/10 places to let the tears flow and treat yo’self to some top notch self-care.

Get Enough Sleep

You might’ve read that and been like, “Who the f doesn’t like sleeping? My bed and I have been in a committed relationship since the day I was born, thank you very much.” 😤

But chances are, there have definitely been times where you’ve been stressed to the nth degree and feel like you have zero time to study and get sh*t done, let alone sleep for a full eight hours or even take a 20-minute power nap. Sleep is for the weak when it’s grind szn a.k.a. school szn, right?

Wrong!

You need sleep, people. Your body, your mind, your soul needs sleep. Sleep is your body’s way of processing the day’s events, churning what you did into good ‘ole memories and preparing for the next day (at least I think that’s what sleep’s for (I’m no scientist)).

That means you literally need sleep to be a functioning human in society. Otherwise, the more you put off sleep and throw off your sleeping schedule, the more likely you’re going to continue this cycle of feeling “bleh.”

Instead, make sure you’re getting a healthy amount of sleep that’ll keep you energized throughout the day. Even just a few hours is better than nothing.

Take a Breath

You might be thinking, “But Jane, how is breathing considered self-care? We literally do it subconsciously…” And you’re absolutely right! That, my friend, is how straightforward self-care can be.

Think about it: self-care is what you do to calm yourself down and be at peace. What do you do when your mind is feeling overwhelmed and you might be having a panic or anxiety attack? You focus on your breathing!

For me, when I’m having an anxiety attack or just feeling stressed af, I focus on my breathing to keep myself grounded, regain control and calm myself down for a bit. In a way, taking a breath is kind of like a cheap form of meditation, because you’re clearing your mind and thinking only about breathing in and out.

So, let’s do it right now. Breathe in. Hold for 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 seconds. Breathe out.

See? That’s how simple self-care can be. And in the wise words of the Ariana Grande, just keep breathin’ and breathin’ and breathin’ and breathin’.

Go to Therapy

If you know me, then you know that I’m a big ‘ole therapy advocate. Seriously. I eat, sleep and breathe that sh*t on the regular like it ain’t going out of style (because it ain’t).

In fact, for the past year-ish, I’ve been speaking with a therapist every week for about an hour, which has been the most life-changing and best decision ever. Honestly. 15/10 recommend.

When you think of self-care, therapy should definitely be on that list. Although it’s not the “prettiest” of self-care techniques — ya girl has definitely cried and talked about deep, ugly sh*t during therapy — it’s 100 percent necessary when taking care of your mental health. Similar to crying, you need to let out your buried emotions in order to make yourself feel better in the long run.

I mean, if you think about it, going to the dentist certainly isn’t “pretty” (especially when your dental hygienist tries to talk to you while they’re cleaning your teeth and drool starts to spill out of your mouth like Niagara Falls). But hey! You wouldn’t have beautiful, stunning, perfect teeth if you didn’t endure all of that awkward dentistry, now would you?

That’s why therapy is beneficial for everyone under the sun — seriously, you can see a therapist for any reason and span of time — and therapy is one of the best “ugly” self-care activities.

Know When to Say “Yes” or “No”

“No” is my favorite word. Why is “no” my favorite word? Because I say it all of the time. (Just ask my roommate what I say when she asks to go out.)

However, being the people pleaser that I am, I also say “yes” to a lot of things. Want an extra hand in cooking a five-course meal for your family of 20? Let me throw on my apron and chef’s hat. Need help building the Great Pyramids? I’ll do it right after I finish painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling.

My thought process is that I want to help people in any way that I can, and that often means putting more on my plate and suddenly realizing, “Wow, I think my eyes are too big for my stomach because I def can’t handle all of this.”

So! The last fab form of self-care is learning when to say “yes” or “no.”

If you’re a busy bee or overachiever like mwah, then you might have some difficulty saying “no” to either lending a hand to your manager who wants you to pick up extra shifts, going out with friends or whatever. Why? Because you feel like you’re disappointing people!

Or maybe you’re a person who prefers staying in bed, grabbing a bowl (or full gallon) of ice cream and spending the night with bae a.k.a. Netflix (I also love doing this). You might be reluctant to say “yes” to plans because you love your nighttime Netflix routine or you might be like “What if I go out and have an absolute horrid time and can’t escape?”

Whoever you are, being okay with saying “yes” and “no” to situations you might have an automatic answer to — example: if I’m in bed and you ask me to hang out, my automatic answer is “no” — is a life changer. Seriously.

What this means is if you’re stressed to the brim and a friend asks you to hang out, but you just don’t have the time or energy to hang out, it’s perfectly A-okay to say “no”; you don’t have to feel guilty for doing what you need to do to reset.

For you people who say “no” more often than “yes,” this also means it might be good for your soul to say “yes” more often. While I, too, am a big fan of nights in with Netflix, socializing with friends or just switching up my usual routine can be rewarding and a form of self-care in itself.

And there you have it! Six self-care activities that aren’t exactly as pretty as chilling with a face mask and eating an expensive af meal, but are still 100% necessary when taking care of your mental health. Because, of course, self-care is first and foremost what you do every day to make yourself feel at peace.

So hop out of bed, let those tears flow and treat yo’self, y’all.

Your friend,
Jane