8 Ways to Manage FOMO & Feel Better About Yourself

Jun 26

FOMO, or the fear of missing out, strikes as soon as you wake up. As you lie in bed and tap through Instagram stories of friends going to parties, vacations or even casual hangouts, you think to yourself, “I’m not doing enough.”

FOMO certainly isn’t a warm-and-fuzzy feeling, and it can lead us to check social media again and again to stay in the know. In fact, dictionary.com defines FOMO as “a feeling of anxiety or insecurity over the possibility of missing out on something, as an event or an opportunity.”

Even when we’re not on social media, FOMO can arise in other ways, such as:

Having difficulty saying “no”
Feeling guilty for saying “no”
Caring too much about what people think
Prioritizing doing activities over your health
Feeling sad when you stay in for the night

Unfortunately, for us FOMO sufferers, social media isn’t going away. Does that mean FOMO will forever control your life? That you’ll never feel like you’re doing enough?

Not exactly.

Here are eight ways to manage FOMO.

1. Are your feelings deeper than FOMO?

FOMO happens to all of us, and it’s natural to occasionally feel like you aren’t doing enough.

But if you experience it constantly, as well as question if you’re truly happy, it might be time to reevaluate your life.

Let’s say your FOMO is usually triggered when you see others hanging out with their close group of supportive friends. Perhaps you need to look at your own friendships and ask yourself if they’re adding to your life, or detracting from it.

By going beyond FOMO and asking yourself hard-hitting questions, you can begin to recognize what is and isn’t bringing you joy, make changes and lead a more fulfilling life.

2. Are you sabotaging yourself?

Do you constantly say “no” when your friends ask you to hang out, even when your schedule is free, and then feel bad about yourself when you see them hanging out? If that’s the case, you might be causing your own FOMO.

To decrease your feelings of FOMO, practice saying “yes” to more opportunities. Although it’s important to know your boundaries and relax, challenge yourself by pushing through the “I don’t want to get out of my pajamas and put on pants” hump and hanging out with your friends. Chances are, you’ll thank yourself later.

3. Take a break from social media

Feeling left out tends to spiral when you’re mindlessly scrolling through social media for hours on end. How can you not feel insecure after seeing a million photos of people going to brunch or tanning on the beach, while you’re stuck at work?

To minimize these feelings, limit the amount of time you spend on social media. You can set a time limit, temporarily delete your social media apps, keep your phone in another room or turn it off completely.

By avoiding potential triggers, you’ll be more inclined to fill up your time with people and hobbies you love, like binge-watching Avatar: The Last Airbender on Netflix.

4. Drop the comparisons

We all know social media isn’t really what people’s lives look like all of the time. Sure, Becky posted a picture of herself vacationing in Jamaica, but what she didn’t post is the argument she had with her girlfriend 20 minutes prior to when that photo was taken.

Still, we tend to subconsciously compare ourselves to what we see on social media.

To overcome FOMO, try not to compare yourself to others, especially on social media. When you’re scrolling through Instagram, you’re seeing the edited highlight reels of dozens of people. You’re one person, and it’s not fair to yourself to compare your singular life to all of that.

Like Queer Eye’s Jonathan Van Ness said in his book, Over the Top: A Raw Journey to Self-Love, “Comparing ourselves to people on social media is as risky as using WebMD to diagnose yourself. You’ll end up way more stressed than before — just don’t even go there.”

5. Practice gratitude

FOMO, in other words, is when you feel like you aren’t doing enough. As a society, we tend to place a lot of expectations on goals we haven’t achieved and think to ourselves, “I’ll be happier when I do x, y and z.”

But even when our goals are achieved, we aren’t satisfied. What do we when we aren’t satisfied? We set a new goal, a better goal that’ll definitely make us happier. When that doesn’t make us happier, we beat ourselves up, set another goal and continue the cycle of unrealistic expectations.

Rather than chase fantasies you think will complete you, practice gratitude for what you do have. If you’re a lover of lists, like myself, you can even make a gratitude list by jotting down everything you’re grateful for in your life.

The next time you’re feeling left out, bust out your gratitude list and remind yourself why you are enough.

6. Make plans with your friends

Just saw a co-worker post a picture of themselves on a camping trip, and now you’re feeling left out? Take the opportunity to make future plans with your friends! Whether it be watching Netflix at your house or organizing your own camping trip, making plans with your friends simultaneously kicks FOMO in the ass, while giving yourself exciting events to look forward to.

7. Be your own best friend

For the days your friends aren’t free to hang out, you need to be your own best friend. That means doing hobbies you enjoy and can do alone. In other words, find a self-care routine you can do by yourself.

You don’t need a pal to tag along with you as you shop through Marshall’s. Sure, it’s nerve-wracking at first, because it feels like everyone is judging you for being alone.

But the truth is, no one notices, and there’s no shame in doing things by yourself.

Staying in for the night? Take a shower, tidy up your room, grab a bowl of ice cream (preferably, Mocha the Dough) and watch your favorite movie or TV show.

The bottom line is, being alone doesn’t make you a loser, nor does it have to be boring. Having a bit of “me” time can be good for you, and it can be just as fun as hanging out with your friends.

8. Be OK with not doing everything

Each of us have a million things we want to do, but no time to do it. (Frankly, many of us don’t have the money either.)

When FOMO strikes and you’re stuck feeling insecure, remember that it’s okay to not do everything. You’re not Hermione Granger — you don’t have a Time-Turner, and you can’t be in a million places at once.

Instead, understand it’s OK that you can’t say “yes” to everything, and try to find balance. Can’t get ice cream with your boyfriend tonight, because you’re already seeing a movie with your cousin? No worries. Plan an ice cream date for the future. It’s important to spread out your plans, while sprinkling in a few “me time” days.

Let’s face it, FOMO sucks. Big time.

Even though there’s no way to avoid it entirely, you can learn to manage it and not let it consume you. Everything takes a bit of trial and error, but with time and practice, you can miss out on having FOMO.

Your friend,
Jane

P.S. Do you struggle with FOMO? What are some ways you cope? Let me know in the comments below!