How to Practice Your Love Language on Yourself
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash
Valentine’s Day is the perfect reason to eat an expensive Italian dinner, turn on the 1989 classic, When Harry Met Sally, and cozy up with the most important person in your life — yourself!
Yep. This Valentine’s Day, we’re treating ourselves to top-notch self-care by diving into the five love languages and how you can practice them on yourself.
The concept of a love language originated from author Gary Chapman’s 1992 book, The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts. In his book, Chapman describes the five most common ways people give and receive love: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts and acts of service. (If you don’t know your love language, you can take a quiz to find out what it is, even if you’ve never been in love, romantically speaking.)
It’s important to note that you can have more than one love language. In fact, most people would say they resonate with all five. However, try to decide which one(s) speaks to you the most. For me, that’s physical touch and quality time.
Although your love language is typically seen as the love you give and receive from friends, family and partners, it also includes the love you invest in your most important relationship — your relationship with yourself!
Here are ways to treat yourself with self-care, according to your love language.
Physical Touch
Do you feel the most adored when you’re cuddling, holding hands or doing the dirty? That means physical touch is your love language. For you, self-care would look like taking care of your body, especially your skin.
Create a daily skincare routine
Exercise
Stretch
Soak in a hot bath
Wear comfortable clothes that make you feel good
Words of Affirmation
If you feel the most comforted when someone says “I love you,” compliments you or verbally encourages you, then words of affirmation is your love language. Focus on your self-talk and what you can repeat to yourself to make you feel supported and fulfilled.
Repeat affirmations to yourself, e.g. “I am worthy of my own love too” and “I am more than enough”
Create a daily gratitude list
Write a letter to your younger or future self
Decorate your room with inspirational quotes
Quality Time
People whose love language is quality time feel the most loved when the person they’re with is giving them their undivided attention. That means not going on your phone, looking into each other’s eyes and actively listening.
In terms of self-care, think of quality time as taking an online crash course about yourself — you want to learn more about what you like and what gives you energy. Essentially, if you were to go on a date with yourself, what would you do?
Cook yourself a nice meal
Go for a walk
Wake up early to watch the sunrise
Journal
Meditate
Receiving Gifts
Do you love to give yourself rewards for getting through a rough day? (For example, in the evening, I like to whip up a cup of hot chocolate to get me through the last few hours of work.) If so, then receiving gifts is your love language!
When doing your self-care, focus more on the thought behind of the gift and less on the price tag. What’s something you can get for yourself that would really warm your heart?
Buy yourself flowers
Invest in a product you’ve been eyeing
Eat at your favorite restaurant
Make yourself a care package that you can open when you’re having a bad day
Do something on your bucket list
Acts of Service
Isn’t it nice when someone does something for you without you having to ask? That’s what acts of service is!
When it comes to self-care, think of it like this: what would you do now that your future self would be thankful for? (For me, that’s leaving a glass of water on my bedside table when I’m going out for a few drinks with my friends.) Basically, you actively set yourself up for peace of mind.
Organize your space
Make your bed every morning
Give yourself the day off of work
Cook yourself a delicious meal
Do the tasks on your to-do list that you’ve been putting off
Love languages are a fun and unique experience for everyone, and they can improve the quality of all of your relationships, including your relationship with yourself! No matter who you are, you certainly deserve every bit of self-love coming your way.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Your Valentine,
Jane
P.S. What’s your love language, and how do you apply it to yourself? Let me know in the comments below!
