Why You Should Dream Big

Photo by Javier Quesada on Unsplash

I’ve had the dream of becoming an author for most of my life. It started when I was young and would write books about talking dolphins and world-traveling elves, which were, of course, shit. Seven-year-old me could not spell or use proper grammar to save her life. But that didn’t matter to me at that age. I liked to write the stories I imagined in my head, and that was that.

Time went on, and that dream of becoming an author still remained, even when other things began to occupy my time. I fell out of writing for a while, not really writing short stories like I had as a child. People would even question when I said I loved to write, because I rarely wrote creatively during my free time. But I knew that love was still there. I still had the belief that writing was my path.

In high school, I started writing again and began to think of pursuing a career in journalism. Although my dad responded with a typical worried response — “You don’t want to be a journalist. Journalists get killed” — I continued to what I knew was my calling, becoming a staff writer and later co-editor of my high school newspaper.

I loved it. I loved the process of creating, editing and organizing the articles in the newspaper which is probably why I applied and got the position of the editor of my community college’s newspaper. My world revolved around writing, and I was flourishing.

That love led to this blog. It became a sanctuary where I could do something I was passionate about while simultaneously releasing pent up energy and helping those who felt what I was feeling. It was creating a community which was really what my dream of becoming an author wanted to do. I wanted to inspire others with words and feelings.

Now that I am in a four-year school, arriving closer to that career of writing day by day, it is all beginning to feel real. A lot of people have said that there is no money in writing, but there is something that wills me to continue. This sounds ridiculous, I know, but there have even been moments, brief moments, where I have teared up in class while thinking about how happy I am in this field. It really is what I believe I was destined to do.

However, with all great loves comes doubt, and a lot of it. I have doubted myself for the longest time, not just with writing but with life. There are parts of myself that have led me to believe that I will never achieve the dreams that I want, let alone be the person I want to be. Social anxiety, the fear of opening up, feelings of numbness — to name a few.

That doubt has also seeped into my writing. So much so that it has prohibited me from starting that dream of becoming an author for years. I’ve had the idea of what I wanted this book to be about for a while now. In fact, I’ve had a bunch of ideas that I’ve been wanting to turn in full-length novels, but there was that fear of them not being perfect. I didn’t feel ready. I guess I was waiting for that moment where inspiration to write would strike me, and it just never did. As much as I wanted that dream to become a reality, as much as I knew it would, I did not want to mess it up with imperfection.

Well, that moment came recently. That moment where I felt ready. It was a moment that filled my heart with joy, because this was it. This was what I had been waiting for for years. I could feel my inspiration growing and growing, and now a full-fledged plan was here to guide the way. I had ran back from class to start on it right away, and I have been trying to work on it little by little since then.

But even though I now have this goal-driven plan and an immense amount of passion, doubt still riddles throughout. I have started and stopped, restarted and stopped, erased what I wrote and stopped. It’s been like that for a bit, and it’s kind of frustrating.

However, something has willed me to keep going, no matter how much I have hated the imperfections. And even though it’s been annoying writing and rewriting, I think I am beginning to figure out what direction I want this book to go in.

I think it's because I have realized that nothing I ever do will be perfect in my eyes. Even if I put every ounce of what I believe is my talent into this personal project, there will always be parts of it that I do not love.

But I don’t care anymore.

The beginning of something is never, never perfect. That is just not possible, no matter what history tells us or what the news tells us with these “child prodigies.” Even those talented few believed they were shit and have gotten frustrated when they first started.

What matters the most in creating something of meaning, whether it is art, a relationship or that jump to start whatever your dream is, is the jump. The jump you take into starting it and continuing it. You have to keep trying and trying and disregard the shit, because it is the obsession of perfection that will prohibit you from what you want to achieve. The beginning will never be perfect, but that does not mean it won’t be a transformative moment, and that doesn’t mean your middle and end won’t be glorious.

This even pertains to waiting for the perfect moment in your life to start your dream or waiting for that magical day where you are happy and sure of yourself. If you continue to believe that everything will fall into place one way, you become distracted on what you have learned in your life. I look back at who I was in elementary school, in middle school, in high school, and I know I have matured and become a better person since then. Heck, I have grown so much during my time at college, even the past few months. It’s really amazing how much you can grow when you don’t even realize it.

So if you are looking for that “perfect moment” to start your dream, here is your sign to start it, no matter how scared you are that it will turn out like crap. Because the time will pass anyway. It is your choice whether you want to use that time to start whatever you’ve been wanting to do and grow, or sit there waiting for eternity. What if that moment never comes? What will happen then? Don’t you want to at least try to reach for that dream? And if people tell you that you can’t, screw them. Screw the idea that people can’t reach their goals because they are “flawed” in some way. Let that criticism be your motivation.

I know that I am terrified that my dream will not become the thing I imagine, mainly because I believe that if it is written the way I want it to be written, it will help many people in this world. But what I am more terrified about is leaving this earth too soon for me to even try. And if what I write is not perfect, at least I did it.

You are only on this planet once. This exact moment you are in right now will only happen once. My question for you is why not now? Why not just try? Why not try to become the person you are meant to be? You might be amazed at what you can do.

Your friend,
Jane