‘Guys, You’re Not Alone’ | Your Story

Your Story is a series in which you, the reader, are invited to be a guest writer on Your Friend Jane and share your own story, relating to mental health and personal growth.

Michael Sheerin

(Trigger Warning: The following story discusses suicide, which may be triggering to some readers.)

Fellas, it’s time to talk.

In 2017, suicide was the tenth leading cause of death in the US. In the same year, men died of suicide 3.54x more often than women. Knowing what I know, the latter statistic doesn’t surprise me. 

Guys reading this, I want you all to think back to childhood. Whether it was a sibling, parent or coach, we can all remember being told to act like a man, not be a bitch or don’t complain “like a girl.” From an early age we were taught that being a man is to be strong and silent. We don’t cry, and we certainly don’t talk about feelings, because that may lead to our masculinity being questioned. We have to break this cycle. I think this cycle leads to a culture that encourages silence which is why suicide rates amongst men are as high as they are. 

I think it’s important that we as men be more open and honest. I am Mike Sheerin, I am 22 years old and I have a low self-esteem. 

To the person reading this right now, trust me — you’re not alone in what you’re feeling. You have people in your life that care about you. Most importantly, it is perfectly okay to feel not okay. 

I don’t like to call my mental health journey a journey (even though I just said mental health journey), because it makes me feel like there’s a fixed point I’m trying to get to. I prefer expedition; for some reason, expedition makes me think of climbing mountains, and that is my most apt comparison for this. One day you feel like you’re on top of the world, watching the sunrise and you think you are completely untouchable. The next day you are staring down a deep dark chasm. You can’t even fathom where the bottom is, but you already feel like you’re falling. 

I’ve spent many days feeling like I was staring over that edge. For the last few years, I have massively struggled with self-esteem — for a while, I just accepted it. Who doesn’t make a few self-deprecating jokes here and there? A wise man once said there’s an ounce of truth in every joke. I had to realize that no person should feel the way I felt about myself. That no one should feel that toxic self loathing that i experienced on a regular basis. 

Fast forward to now. Do I still have bad days? Absolutely.

But the way I deal with these days is exercising. I will go to the gym or go for a run. That feeling of accomplishment when you’ve finished a demanding workout is amazing. For me, it’s not about a number on a scale — it’s about learning to be comfortable in my own skin. 

Writing about my expedition is so strange for me for a few different reasons. Admittedly, I don’t like opening up too much, especially about things that feel so intimate and personal. Bigger than that is I feel like my climb is just beginning. 

I’ll see you at the peak.